“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” -Marianne Williamson
Have you ever had someone give you a complement, you appreciate it, but don’t truly believe what they are saying is true? They tell you how great you are or how great you performed a particular task but for some reason you have trouble seeing yourself the way they see you? I always say there is a fine line between being humble and having too low a view of yourself.
Who says you can’t be wildly successful, yet still humble? It’s all about how you conduct yourself in your day to day life and how you treat others around you. This is something I have struggled with in the past: I want so badly to be a man of good character and humility, yet in order to be great I have to be successful which can sometimes add the illusion that I am “above” others. Being perceived as “better than others” is one of my worst fears. This must sound crazy to you as you read this because you are probably wondering why I even care. I should run my own race, do the best I can and that’s all I can do, right? I agree, and I am working on it, daily. Here is an exercise that helps me remind myself that its OK to see myself as great, successful, awesome, talented and praise worthy…and this exercise will help you too.
Write a letter from God or the biggest authority/father/mother figure in your life from their point of view. Imagine you just told them all you doubts, fears and insecurities. How would they react? What would they say? Include how you think they see you. How would they react if you told them you don’t truly believe in yourself? Be specific what these fears, doubts and insecurities are. What advice would he/she give you to get closer to your goals? What compliments would he/she give you? What constructive criticism could they give you that you can take with a smile and work on? Remember this only for you to see so you can write without holding back.
Now, write a letter back to God or that person. Tell them what you think about what they told you. Tell them the steps you are going to take moving forward. Tell them how hard you are going to work to make a positive change. This will fell like you are telling them things you already know, which is a good thing because it is going to reinforce your brain to continue to strive to start seeing yourself in a different light. Its all about breaking out of your comfort zone with your self image. Sometimes we look at ourself and all we see are our setbacks and our limitations and our shortcomings. There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving yourself and being proud of who you are. Focus on the positive.
Another exercise I do is say(to myself) that if I polled 100 friends, family, fans etc, over 95% of them would say that I deserved to be great, that I am very talented, that I am fun to watch and that I am one of their favorite fighters – so why the heck would I ever doubt myself? What is holding me back from seeing myself the way God sees me and the way others think of me? If they see me this way, surely I should start seeing myself this way, right? There is absolutely nothing wrong with me seeing myself as great!!
You can do this with yourself, in your life. It doesn’t have to be 100 people, but truly ask yourself: How do people at work see me? How do my teammates see me? How does my family see me? Two things can come of this self evaluation: 1) You need to see yourself in a more positive light because so many others do, so why shouldn’t you? OR 2) You really do need to improve your work ethic, competence, skills, character, integrity and attitude to gain a better reputation. Lets be honest, you can’t expect people to have a high view of you if you aren’t striving for greatness. Both scenarios will cause growth so both are constructive.
**DISCLAIMER: I will say, its best to consciously choose 10 positive people in your life…we all know some people are too hard to please and there is no use dwelling on their negativity. But remember what they think about you only matters if its positive because you have chosen to meditate on what is good, inspiring, uplifting and good.
To Your Success,